i think i am really angry
maybe i shouldn't be so worked up over an A-. but unlike some people i've had to work extra hard this semester to make up for the fall semester. i did very poorly fall semester because i was really ill and had to drop a class, which didn't get dropped as a W but as WI because the stupid department chair wouldn't sign my slip. i had enough proof that i was ill but he wouldn't accept it (that's a story in itself, so just trust me).
so my gpa fell to a 3.29. so i worked really hard so i could get straight A's this semester. which i didn't because I got a B+ in piano and a B in my lessons because I totally blew my jury. but at least i would have a high enough gpa to bring my overall gpa closer to a 3.4 so that after i finished my summer classes (hopefully with all A's) and hopefully do very well in the fall, I would have a 3.5 overall gpa going into the spring '06. i'm graduating in the spring and my grades up to the fall '05 semester matter the most. so i'm running out of time.
my asshole professor in music history gave me an A- which brings my gpa down slightly for the semester which makes a different on my potential for getting closer to a 3.5 for graduation. i don't deserve an A-. i never ever dispute grades, for one thing. so obviously, this really hits a nerve. i'll take an F if i think i deserve it (which i have, once in high school). i generally feel that i deserve the grades i get. whether i like them or not. but i do not deserve an A-. i really think he did it on purpose. this professor and i have some conflicts of interest. and i'm deeply sorry that i cannot possibly see eye to eye with him. i refuse. i e-mailed this professor as soon as i saw my grades.
i might seem like i'm over reacting. but unlike some people, i'm graduating in the spring. so i don't have the extra time to waste to try to boost my gpa. i would really love to, but i don't have the luxury. my parents, specifically, my mother pays for my schooling. therefore i can't just sit around as an undergrad for 5 or 6 years, wasting her money.
i'm counting on my grades for the summer classes i'm enrolled in to boost my gpa so i can get closer to a 3.5. how can i get accepted to a decent grad school without a gpa at least in the 3.5's? what is even more annoying is the fact that your last semester hardly matters because applications are evaluated way before the second semester ends.
if only i had done better in the fall, i wouldn't be in this jam. i would probably have a 3.6 by now. i went into the fall semester with a 3.4. i should be getting close to a 3.6 right now. i would have graduated with a gpa probably very close to a 3.7, but now, all i can do is aim for a 3.5.
i wish i wasn't so obssessed with these stupid grades and numbers. i hate that i am. i hate that it makes me so angry. i can't help it. i just want to be the best and i'm not the best. i feel like i've been programmed to behave this way and even though i recognise this fact, i cannot change it.
school is an institution of evil. it is entirely wrong. education, as it is in the united states, is the result of a society overrun by capitalism. capitalism in the united states is a destroyer.
so my gpa fell to a 3.29. so i worked really hard so i could get straight A's this semester. which i didn't because I got a B+ in piano and a B in my lessons because I totally blew my jury. but at least i would have a high enough gpa to bring my overall gpa closer to a 3.4 so that after i finished my summer classes (hopefully with all A's) and hopefully do very well in the fall, I would have a 3.5 overall gpa going into the spring '06. i'm graduating in the spring and my grades up to the fall '05 semester matter the most. so i'm running out of time.
my asshole professor in music history gave me an A- which brings my gpa down slightly for the semester which makes a different on my potential for getting closer to a 3.5 for graduation. i don't deserve an A-. i never ever dispute grades, for one thing. so obviously, this really hits a nerve. i'll take an F if i think i deserve it (which i have, once in high school). i generally feel that i deserve the grades i get. whether i like them or not. but i do not deserve an A-. i really think he did it on purpose. this professor and i have some conflicts of interest. and i'm deeply sorry that i cannot possibly see eye to eye with him. i refuse. i e-mailed this professor as soon as i saw my grades.
i might seem like i'm over reacting. but unlike some people, i'm graduating in the spring. so i don't have the extra time to waste to try to boost my gpa. i would really love to, but i don't have the luxury. my parents, specifically, my mother pays for my schooling. therefore i can't just sit around as an undergrad for 5 or 6 years, wasting her money.
i'm counting on my grades for the summer classes i'm enrolled in to boost my gpa so i can get closer to a 3.5. how can i get accepted to a decent grad school without a gpa at least in the 3.5's? what is even more annoying is the fact that your last semester hardly matters because applications are evaluated way before the second semester ends.
if only i had done better in the fall, i wouldn't be in this jam. i would probably have a 3.6 by now. i went into the fall semester with a 3.4. i should be getting close to a 3.6 right now. i would have graduated with a gpa probably very close to a 3.7, but now, all i can do is aim for a 3.5.
i wish i wasn't so obssessed with these stupid grades and numbers. i hate that i am. i hate that it makes me so angry. i can't help it. i just want to be the best and i'm not the best. i feel like i've been programmed to behave this way and even though i recognise this fact, i cannot change it.
school is an institution of evil. it is entirely wrong. education, as it is in the united states, is the result of a society overrun by capitalism. capitalism in the united states is a destroyer.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home