eureka!

i brought mousey home with me. the cats are having an interesting time dealing with his presense. candy just hisses and sasha kisses him but hisses when he tries to play. poor guy.

i figured out what i am going to do. if carl decides to do composition then i'll just start my graduate work at cal state fullerton and then transfer to another university. that seems reasonable and i won't fall behind. that seems like a pretty good idea, i think. i hadn't thought about it until my mom mentioned it. that way i dont feel bad about waiting around for him since i'll be working toward my graduate degree. i want to finish the degree at a different university because i don't think our graduate program is very strong in the musicology field. at least it doesn't seem like it.


well...its raining!

all i'm saying pretty baby...

well its been an interesting week. let me see, where should i start?


i've been feeling pretty tired lately. this is a worrying sign but we're keeping an eye on it. that is, i am keeping an eye on it and carl is too. i'm trying to get more rest. hopefully that doesn't make it worse.

i decided to stop seeing my psychologist on tuesday. i was getting tired of hearing him go on about meditation. i go in each week, and we don't talk about anything good. i haven't anything to discuss for one thing. so instead he tries to teach me these silly relaxation techniques that i honestly haven't any interest in. so i decided that i am wasting my ten dollars a week. i could spend that money on something else. like donating it to black veteran housing.

today i read an interesting article on the fowl treatment of iraq soliders who are suffering from post-tramatic syndrome (shell shock). You should read the article: http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2005/02/18/walter_reed/index.html

i ate dinner with my sister and mom yesterday. they came out to see me. it was pretty nice. i had a good time.

so maybe my week hasn't been all that interesting afterall. i do continue to do my best to be as random as possible. alright, i don't try to do my best at it. i just do it. without thinking. i am who i am. random.

my political science teacher thinks that i think like a political scientist or something to that degree. as a matter of fact, he now refers to me in class as "we". well, he was talking about something, about the "conservative republicans" and how "we, veronica and myself, would never agree to that." i thought it was very funny. but i try not to fall into a label. i don't want to viewed as a "liberal democrat" when i know so many people who call themselves that are fakes. i want to murder them. not really. that is just a figure of speech for those of you who take things such as that out of context.

i turned in my pre-liminary bibliography for my political science class and my professor said, "wow. look at that." i guess i had a lot of sources listed...more than i should have? more than expected? i don't know. I didn't bother to put it in the proper formating except for the first two. seeing his response, I doubt it matters. my issue is a local issue but there are a lot of articles on it in the Los Angeles Times and in the OC Register that i was able to find more than a hand full. yay for me.

in other news, i did well on my piano performance check today. super duper! so far, so good.

oh! on weds. i had to lead a class discussion on the failures of computer systems in my computer science class "the computer impact". it was not very much fun. i haven't had to lead a class discussion, really ever. i tend to fumble my words and start to fiddling with objects on the desk and forget to involve the class. i'm probably a very boring lecturer. the topic was mildly interesting. i would rather lead a discussion on what interests me--of course.

my birthday is 1st march. i will be 21. a legal adult in the united states of america. my perceptions of a 21 year old, as a child, are not what i have become. it is very strange. hard to explain really. i have to run off now. i am working as an assistant to a music professor who is putting on a women in music type event entitled "merging voices". she does it ever year and this year i get to be her assistant. wooop.

isnt internet archive great?

here is a post from my old site pixillated.org:

1/15/2003
I am debating what I should do about clarinet and oboe. I almost feel annoyed about playing clarinet. Mostly thanks to my teacher. He tells me that you must love the instrument. And I do. Or did. But after what has happened with whether or not I can continue on oboe, I almost feel like, I don't care that he is a brilliant player. He is a tyrant and I can't handle someone who doesn't believe that I am telling the truth. That is a good person to work with. On the other hand, I have my oboe instructor. A brilliant player. One of the best oboe players around. He was the oboe player on the film "Titanic" soundtrack (the score by James Horner starring DiCapprio). He is kind and funny and he believes in my ability to be a brilliant oboe player. The only problem is that I can't get the scholarship on oboe this semester, only on clarinet. And my clarinet teacher put in as to say that I would not be a music major anymore if I went to oboe. I asked my oboe teacher and he said that was completely untrue and that my teacher was just "throwing his weight around." Which made me feel a little better. And so for a while I felt that I would just go with the state funded clarinet lessons and secretly take oboe lessons. But on Monday I woke up and I felt the urge to stop playing clarinet. To stop and only do oboe. And I still feel it slightly. It's almost an intuitive feelings, like I'm destined for something on the oboe. I don't know what to do about this at all.

i like reading the last part. "It's almost an intuitive feeling, like I'm destined for something on the oboe." For those of you who do not know me, I chose the oboe. I play in the wind ensemble now and I get state funded lessons. I am the only undergraduate oboe player at my university. I guess I was destined for something. It is funny to see this post. Journal entries are great in this sense. Especially when you've said something memorable.

I will be moving this journal very soon to leghairs.com. When I get a chance. I am currently working on a project for university. It is an organization called "Nose Round Productions" which I am the co-founder. http://www.noseround.org/ for more information. The site is not complete. Well, that's all. I have to read.